Have you ever have this kinda encounter with a stranger before?

On this drizzling and grey Halloween afternoon, I was walking on the streets after lunch when i passed by this old man (with white hair) who amuses me much. He was walking past me when he gave me a small smile with that secretive glint in his eyes. That moment, i feel like we were both sharing our own little secret.

That kept me amused for the rest of the afternoon and placed a smile on my face.

Our small secret. How nice.
 *When my baby smiles at me*

Have you ever have an urge to do something on impulse and went ahead with your instinct to do it? All rational thoughts must had flew out of your mind and you do just that one crazy thing that you really want to just becoz you want to. Well, i would like to think of it as an act of courage and true self and i much admire that.

I was at the screening room with dear Mei 2 weeks ago for the Singapore Sun Festival. We watched "Under the Tuscan Sun" and i truly enjoyed the whole time when i was there with my dear old friend. The movie is absolutely fantastic and the dreaminess of it makes me wish to do something like the female lead. The story is about a lady writer who had been supporting her husband (who is also an author) but was being ditched for a student. In her sadness, her friends purchase a tour to Tuscanny for her. The scenery shown in the movie is great! Fields of sun flowers blooming and smiling at you, the busy marketplace&nbs p;that is full of colours and that old charm oozing from everywhere and everyone! Anyway, during her tour, this lady writer came across a house on sale and she bought it on the spot and the story begins from there. The story depicts how one recovers from the past, searching for love, gaining courage, maintaining friendships and life. Below is a quote which i like especially.. it goes something like that:-

Katherine: When i am young, i spend my time in the fields looking for ladybug(s) but i could never find it. One afternoon, after searching for a long time to no avail, i gave up and lay down on the field and fell asleep. When i awaken, ladybugs, many and many of them, are crawling all over me!

I supposed things come naturally to one and there are circumstances when one just have to be patient. What shall be shall be.
Well, below are some pics taken during that day. Enjoyz!

One of my dearest oldest friend, Mei!
 See that huge plate of fish??? We shared! I am so not a glutton:P

 *After the movie*

Next movie on the list to watch: Hunting & Gathering!

Procrastination: to defer action; to delay

As usual, my old problem; that of which with a capital "P" occurs.
This is my last project of the last semester and my last chance of getting an AD.
Wish me not of good luck but of the will/energy to get started

"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree."
By Martin Luther

I supposed i am the same kind of person as Martin Luther. I would still plant my tree too.

*Sighs*

It is at this time of the year whereby I am awakened and reminded of how blessed and fortunate i am. I guess it is always good to be remembered. Yesterday, i turned 23 years old. As usual, i do not feel anything different or changed (I figured change is a gradual and silent process waiting to sneak up on you since i am 11yrs old) but I am still so, so, so happy(!) to be with family, friends and loved ones.

With all the good wishes and blessings from family and friends, i can only say that i am really a lucky and rich person and i would like to give my thanks to all. Sometimes, i feel like i do not deserve this good fortune (refer to previous monster issue) but other times like now, i just can't help reveling in this feeling of being loved. Perhaps this is just me, being selfish. *shrugs*

Nonetheless, i will try my best to love and be loved.  

 14Oct - Picnic @ sentosa~

 My happy family:)
Binny n me trying out our ACT-CUTE expressions - hilarious!

 My Mummy dearest - love her so! 

 Enjoying the warmth of the sunny breeze~ 

 With dearie Ry!

I have no idea what is happening to me. These days, i just feel like such a monster. Have i always been like this or am i just like a monster usually? I have no idea. You may be wondering why i am saying this of myself, well... i dont know where i should start as well. For people whom do not know me well, you would probably think i am one confused and lost individual who dont know much of anything. Well... Yea, that's me ... always have been and now, i think i almost 'perfected' the role.

I feel like a monster because:
- I snap at the smallest of matters
- I throw tantrums, sulk, growl, grumble and whine to get MY way
- I get unhappy when things doesnt go my ways and a certain Mister gets the heat
- I think, worry and brood too much on unnecessary matters that does not used to bug me like it does now
- I get irritated by the smallest of small matters and people and does not give a leeway in difficult situations
- I refused to be tactful, choosing to be direct and hurt people around me with my sharp words (i imagine words slicing thru like knife and i feel the cuts as deeply too)   
- I do not reward the people round me often enough (with my cheerful smile - known to light up family and firends' days) and feel bad after all
- I do not give enough time and 100% attention to loved ones (like i used to) instead, reflecting aloofness and distance (with high towers and spikes which made me feels so cold and dark inside)

All in all, i just don't make people around me happy anymore.
This made me feels like a monster and neither i am happy.
I am such a monster.